


Valentine puns and regrets

by Captain_Snark



Series: The valentine debacle [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Bad Puns, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 10:24:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6002362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Snark/pseuds/Captain_Snark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard Snart is not big on Valentine. Except for the puns that are literally everywhere. When he spots a Valentine card with the perfect Flash pun, he just can't help himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valentine puns and regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I apoligize for the bad puns beforehand. This is my first fic and it might be horrible, but I hope you enjoy. (Also, yes I think Barry has terrible handwriting, because he probably rushes everything - no pun intended, or maybe it was)

Leonard Snart isn’t big on Valentine. He isn’t in the line of work that made relationships realistic. Not with normal people at least, the kind of people who celebrated Valentine.

What he is a fan of, however, are puns. It just so happens that Valentine is the perfect time for shops to capitalize on awful puns. They are everywhere, on candy ( _You’re my sweetheart_ ), teddy bears ( _I love you beary much_ ) or even heart-shaped cheese ( _This might sound cheesy but…_ ). It is absolutely ridiculous and about the only thing he finds amusing about Valentine’s day.

He is in the middle of grocery shopping when he spots it. It being a red Valentine’s card with a heart in the middle and a lightning bolt on top of it.

_You make my heart race._

Len’s not usually one for impulse buys, but somehow half an hour later he finds himself in his current safe house, staring at the red card. He has no idea how to explain the whole thing to Lisa. The last thing he needs is another jab at his obsession with the Flash. Yet he can’t find it in himself to throw the card in the trash.

He blames Mick when he leaves the safe house, card in the pocket of his jacket. Len does not make rash decisions, he calculates, plans ahead. Somehow Mick’s hot-headedness must be rubbing off on him. So yes, he blames Mick. His obsession with the Flash has nothing to do with it, whatever Lisa may believe when she finds out.

-

Barry Allen is recently single and spending Valentine fighting crime. Not that he has anything better to do, except maybe wallow in self-pity, as Cisco calls it. He supposes they’re lucky evil meta-humans apparently do take breaks on Valentine, even if regular crime doesn’t.

In between stopping a convenience store robbery and saving an old lady from getting mugged (Cisco’s triumphant ‘See, there’s always a little old lady’ is not appreciated), Barry decides he needs a break. Because the police can handle it and maybe he does want to wallow in self-pity. He’s not telling Cisco that.

When he arrives home, the card sitting on top of his bed is definitely not what he expected to come home to. It’s red with a pink heart in the middle, a lightning bolt on top of that. Barry feels slightly annoyed at himself when he reads the pun and can’t stop himself from laughing.

He knows shops are selling pretty much anything they can slap the Flash symbol on. Barry knows this, but that doesn’t make it any less weird. He wonders whether Iris or Joe were the one to buy the card. He settles on probably Iris, who seems to have an affinity to buying a Flash at Jitters and teasing him about it endlessly.

When he opens the card, however, it’s clear neither Joe nor Iris bought the card. Barry is a CSI, he knows this is not their handwriting and there’s about a ton of reasons why besides the fact that he doesn’t recognize the handwriting itself.

_Hope you’re not tired, Scarlet. Because you’ve been running through my mind all day. ;)_

Scarlet.

Captain Cold, Leonard freaking Snart, sent him a Valentine’s card. Barry can now say with 100% certainty that the multi-verse is no longer the strangest thing to happen.

On top of that there’s a winky face. Right there, black on white. Leonard Snart is about the last person on this earth he had pegged as someone who uses emojis. Definitely the strangest thing that’s happened to him yet and he got hit by lightning for fucks sake.

-

Len is back at the safe house that evening, cooking dinner while Lisa complains about whatever poor guy she forced to go on a date with her. Apparently she’s going to a singles pity party later in the evening in a local bar to score free booze. Len politely declined when she suggested he should come with because ‘You need to get laid, Lenny’.

Lisa’s just launching into the third retelling of just how awful her date was, when there’s a whoosh and a red blur that shuts her up. Not even a second later there’s a blue card on the kitchen counter.

“Was that the Flash?” Lisa asks flabbergasted, looking at the door that’s swaying slightly back and forth from the speed at which Barry entered and left.

Len doesn’t pay her much attention, his eyes focused on the blue card in front of him. It resembles the red card from this afternoon, the difference being that it has a snowflake in the centre and a different pun?

_I think you’re pretty cool._

Well played, Barry. Well played.

When he opens the card, there’s something written there, but it looks more like chicken scratches than anything else. Which suggests that either Barry has terrible handwriting, or that he was way too nervous and just wanted to get the whole thing over with quick.

_Keep it cool, Cold._

He doesn’t notice Lisa peering over his shoulder until it’s too late and she’s laughing her ass off.

She’s cackling all throughout his explanation on how it doesn’t mean anything and that he is not obsessed with the Flash. Because he isn’t. Lisa should just stop laughing already.

-

Somewhere else in Central City, a very similar situation is happening. Iris has found the red card and is pestering Barry on whom sent it. Barry refuses to answer, face as red as the card, as he contemplates his life choices.

He almost regrets there’s no meta-human activity when Iris also informs Cisco, hoping the other has more information. He now has two people laughing at how red his face gets.

“I don’t know who this person is, but Scarlet seems like a pretty accurate nickname,” Iris says, sounding way too intrigued.

“This person has a knack for naming, I need to know, Barry. I might need his naming expertise for the next meta-human.” Cisco should definitely get his priorities straight.

Barry kind of understands why people commit murders. Maybe Snart could give him some tips.


End file.
